How can we empower parents to find the best education for their children?

Shree’: No one is working with both sides. The teachers fear the parents. The parents fear the teachers. The administrators, quite frankly, are just trying to keep things going, right, and nobody is really preparing teachers today on how to work with parents.

Kevin: As we enter into a new school year, all parents are focused on and preparing for the school that their child will attend in the fall. Some of these parents are looking for a new learning environment for their child. What is motivating parents to seek new learning options for their kids? What are some obstacles that parents face when trying to find the right school for their child, and what resources are available to help them? And how can we empower parents to find the right schools for their children regardless of where they live? This is what I want to know, and today I’m joined by Shree’ Recasner to find out.

Shree’ Recasner is the Vice President of Strategic Engagement for the Texas Charter Schools Association, a membership organization working to accelerate student achievement in Texas by strengthening and supporting a diverse set of effective public charter schools. Previously, Shree’ was the National Advocacy Director for the Black Alliance for Educational Options. Its mission was to actively support parental choice, empower families, and increase quality educational options for Black children. Shree’ has continually advised national organizations and advocacy groups on organizing strategies and tactics for parent and community engagement.

Shree’ Recasner, I am so excited to have you on the show. Welcome to “What I Want to Know.”

Shree’: Well, thank you. Thank you for inviting me. It’s so good to see you again.

Kevin: Boy, I tell you what, we have some war stories we could talk about, but the good news is all of those stories relate to our fervent belief that all children are entitled to a quality education. I’ve long admired your work. I want to talk about this parent power piece and engagement, and how they can be more assured that their kids have access to a quality option. But first, you have an amazing story. I mean, you started out doing corporate work, business work. What drew you to the space of education, and it became such a passion that you never left?

Shree’: Oh, Kevin. You know, listen, first of all, I’m a mother, and I was in my dream job loving life, doing . . . Everything was just great until I got a call one night from my son’s teacher, Brandon’s teacher, he was in third grade. And we had a good relationship. She said, “Shree’, I need to talk to you. Brandon is having a little trouble, you know, in class, and he needs a little help. And I’m going to send some papers home for you and your husband to sign and have them notarized and just send them back.” And I went, “Notarized? What do you mean? Okay, but sure.” And then I get the papers. It was more, you know, like a stack of papers, like you’re buying a house. You’re signing over your life.

Fortunately for us, my son, whom I thought was going to be the first Black president, by the way, because he just was just amazing, he loved speaking, loved . . . just had . . . You know, he loved speaking in front of a lot of people. I just knew one day he would do that, and he is doing it now, but he . . . When I got the papers, fortunately for me, I had my pastor at the time, every Sunday, he would talk about . . . He’d spend a few minutes talking about, “Don’t let them put our Black boys in special education.” And, you know, I just . . . I would listen to him kind of rant for a minute, and I go, “Well, if parents just attended PTA. I go to PTA and I don’t see a lot of parents at the PTA meetings, and if parents just do what they need to do, then you wouldn’t have to worry about children having trouble in school.” Fast-forward, here I am.

And so after getting these papers and I kind of start thinking about that conversation and just my thoughts behind it, I didn’t sign the papers. I didn’t sign them. And when you don’t sign all these papers, especially in the school that we were in . . . We were in a really good, traditional public school. We got in because of the color of our skin. And so they said, “You’ve got to sign the papers, or you have to have a big meeting.” And a big meeting, meaning about 15 people. Nobody looked like us. It was myself, my husband, and my pastor. And I had to tell them before we went in the meeting, I said, “Listen, guys, I’m the communicator. Do not get upset. Let me handle everything. You know, I’ll talk.”

You know, Kevin, probably a couple of hours in, I had become this mom, this person I didn’t even know. I thought they were going to call law enforcement.

Kevin: I think I know that person, by the way.

Shree’: You’ve experienced it?

Kevin: Yeah.

Shree’: But it was the most amazing . . . I still didn’t sign the papers. I ended up leaving my job, taking all of my retirement out of that account, and, you know, paying major dollars to get him caught up. He could not read. He could read the words on the page, because, you know, back in the day, they said, “Read to your children. Let them read to you.” So he had every Dr. Seuss book. What I didn’t know, as a mom, was to stop him every, you know, two or three sentences and say, “Tell me what you read. You know, talk about that.”

Kevin: Comprehension. Comprehension.

Shree’: So fast-forward, Brandon is now . . . You know, he’s off the payroll sort of, and he is an actor. He’s an actor, an artist, lives in Dallas, travels all over the country making movies and living his best life. And so I decided, in that process, there were just things I didn’t know. And, you know, I had a little bit of education. I thought, you know, I had good relationship. We were on first-name basis with the teacher, but there were just things I didn’t know. And in talking in that meeting that day with all of those administrators, I realized, you know, it wasn’t about my son. I made a decision after that, you know, the whole process, I found out going through, you know, getting him caught up, him learning how to read, that I needed to share that information with everybody I knew.

And so I was like some kind of somebody just crazy. I was walking the streets of South Dallas, anybody that would listen to me, and I said, “You have got to get involved. You’ve got to ask questions, you know, about, you know, what’s going on with your child. You don’t want to end up like me.” Because what I found out is that in school, you know, Brandon had such a great personality. He has a great personality. But, you know, as the months progressed and he didn’t understand the words and he didn’t know how to participate in school, it was getting frustrated for the teacher. He was getting frustrated.

So what did he do? He talked. He talked. He cut up, you know. And a lot of times, that’s what happens to our children, is that, you know, they’re missing something. Nobody is really paying attention to that thing, and so they, you know, kind of label them when . . . Once Brandon learned how to read, he was the best student.

Kevin: So how old was he when you got that call?

Shree’: Oh, Brandon, he was 10.

Kevin: Ten. And see, the reason why, you know, and I know your story, Shree’, but the reason why I wanted you to share that in the very beginning is it really sets the table for the whole discussion on engagement by parents and forming the right relationship with teachers and parents. And you said a couple things that were really, really important. One is, you thought you were doing everything right. Going to the PTA meetings, being part of the school community, being on a first-name basis with the teacher. You thought you were doing everything right. Other parents feel that way, but lo and behold, in spite of all of that, there may be deficits occurring in the classroom that are being ignored until they are blown out of proportion, and that was part of what you wanted to convey when you were, as you said, walking the streets of South Dallas

Shree’: I did. I wanted every mom and dad to get involved with their children’s education at a different level. You know, I wrote about 25 parent workshops. I called them parent workshops, helping your child excel in school. Because I wanted parents to understand, first of all, that they were partners. You know, we looked at . . . I had looked at the teacher as, you know, the only expert. I was just the parent. Well, I am an expert too. I’m an expert, you know, on my children, and the teacher is an expert, and together as partners, you know, my son just blossomed.

Kevin: Yeah, and, you know, part of that partnership that you’ve always talked about, which I’ve always appreciated, is grounded in the fundamental belief that everyone has a role, and it’s a meaningful role. But even today, there’s this feeling by some educators that, you know, “Trust us. We know what we’re doing.” And parents are relegated to sort of a backdoor status. And on the other hand, there’s this feeling by some parents, especially if they had a bad experience, that not everyone cares in the system.

And one of the things I enjoy when I worked with you at BAEO, and I want to unpack, you know, how you got to the Black Alliance for Educational Options under the leadership of Howard Fuller, but one of the things I liked is when you put that blueprint together on that partnership, it really celebrated the fact that everyone had a role and there were no villains.

Shree’: You know, this is really interesting that you say that. And my stance, although now I work with parents, teachers, and students from charter schools, one of the things that I know without a doubt is partnership and relationship matters. My daughter is a teacher at a small charter school in Memphis, and my son-in-law is a teacher. He’s a counselor now at that same charter school. And one of the things my daughter, when she started into teaching, you know, one of the reasons she wanted to go into teaching was she said, you know, “I feel like if I can get them in the classroom and make a difference, then you won’t have to work so hard.” And I really appreciated her saying that because I knew she’d be one of the teachers that would make a difference, and she has.

But one of the things that she talks about all the time is, “Mom, you’ve got to come here and work with the parents. You’ve got to come here and work with the parents.” No one is working with both sides. The teachers fear the parents. The parents fear the teachers. The administrators, quite frankly, are just trying to keep things going, right, and nobody is really preparing teachers today on how to work with parents. Like, you know, as much as I had a great relationship, I thought, with my son’s teacher, I had a different one moving forward, and it was a much more celebrated one.

Kevin: Yeah, and it was productive.

Shree’: It was productive for my son.

Kevin: Yeah. And how do we bridge that gap, especially at a time when, you know, political tensions are at an all-time high? We are in an us versus them, you know, mindset culturally. Folks are overly sensitive, some with justifications. But still people feel like the other guy or the other person is out to get them. And in schools in particular, especially schools that have had challenges making sure that all kids get what they deserve academically, folks are on edge. But the work that you did, and talk about starting at BAEO and putting together the blueprint for what I think was the best parent engagement relationship with teachers’ piece in the country. Talk about that and then lead us to where you are now.

Shree’: Wow. Thank you for saying that. Well, first of all, there are just three things when you’re talking to parents, and, you know, helping parents understand “why,” like, why are you in this school? Why are you sending your child here? Why do you want a different option? Helping parents connect to their “why.” And that’s to anybody. Whenever I’m even talking to a minister, I want to know “why.” You know, what is your “why”? Because if you understand your why, you understand it. I mean, tell me, but technically you need to know, because you need to know why you are sending your child to that school because that is what’s going to keep you sending that child to that school, it’s going to keep you embracing that school, it’s going to keep you asking the right questions of that school. So helping parents understand their “why.” When I was at BAEO, that was one of the main focuses.

The second thing was sharing all the information upfront. You know, gone are the days that we treat people like they can’t handle the truth, and it’s okay. I mean, I was and still is . . . You know, I believe that if you share all the information, like treat parents, I don’t know, like they’re adults, you know, like they’re professionals, like they . . . You know, it’s their children.

And the third thing is answer all their questions. So you give them all this information and, “I don’t understand this.” “Okay, let’s talk about it. What part of it you don’t understand?” And let’s respond even to the questions that you don’t like, you don’t want people asking this particular question. We get money from this, you know, this organization. Answer the question, and be honest about it. Because this work is about relationships, and, you know, people say all the time, “You organize parents.” I don’t organize anyone. If anybody knock on my door saying, “I’m here to organize you,” I’m closing the door. I do not . . . Now, all my friends that are organizers, great. I believe in building relationships, and that’s what organizing is. It’s about building a relationship.

And so if people know their story, people are connected, you know, with the information that you’re sharing, and it won’t work for everybody, but the people that it works for, guess what? They’re going to be your biggest advocates. I still hear from people all over the country that I’ve worked with, and it’s not . . . They know I don’t live in Alabama or Kentucky or Louisiana anymore, but they call me because they know that I’m going to, first of all, share the truth as I know it, and I’m going to direct them. I’m going to direct them, you know, to the people that they need to or the resources that they’re, you know, inquiring about. And that’s based on relationships.

Kevin: You know what’s interesting is when you talk about those three important things, the “why,” the information, and the answer to the questions, a lot of people don’t understand how simple it is. And even the “why” question, many parents will say, “My kid is going to this school because I’m zoned in this ZIP Code.” And they may not even have realized that they have a voice in the “why.” Have you found that to be the case?

Shree’: Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, one of the things I break down even to parents in traditional public schools, I mean, it is your . . . Your child has a number as a dollar amount, and you should have an option to take that dollar amount and use it, you know, with the school that best serves your child. And so, yes, that has always been . . . We’ve never told the truth about that. We’ve never shared that information.

Kevin: Why is it so hard for both sides to come together around those three points?

Shree’: When you’re talking about parents, people, you know, at the top, school systems, you know, just people, period, don’t see them in the same vein. You know, you’re supposed to care. This is your child. You’re supposed to be there on the front. “I do care. I’m sending my son or daughter to this school to get an education.” It’s really difficult work having a conversation, and quite frankly, people feel, I think . . . especially in the . . . I’ve been in this work now for over 30 years. I’ve been in this work a long time, and people, they don’t see parents at the same level as they see a, you know, board member or, you know, someone else, another type, another role. And so I have spent my time in this work helping people that I’m in contact with, that I’m at the table with, see them in a different light.

Kevin: Yeah. And part of the reason why you’ve had success is you understand that in building relationships, you have to get people there, get them beyond their own perspectives and experiences, and understand the value of extending themselves to the other side — teachers to parents, parents to teachers, administrators and the like. When you left BAEO, eventually you ended up with the Texas Charter Schools Association. And talk about this, the power of training and this institute that you set up, which is so unique because it’s not focused, as I said earlier, on one side or the other. There’s training for parents, there’s training for teachers, and there’s, at the end of the day, a collaboration between both sides, if you will, for the benefit of the students. So talk a little bit about your work with the Texas Charter Schools Association and how you furthered that vision that you started at BAEO.

Shree’: You know, first of all, I have to give credit to just some amazing trainers. You know, when I was in corporate America, Allstate Insurance Company trained me to the hilt. I mean, I’ve been to every Stephen Covey . . . I mean, I knew in my heart I was going to be a trainer when I created a training session on how to deal with catastrophes. And I knew I didn’t understand it, but I understand kind of that I could do that, that I had that instilled in me. I just wanted . . . You know, there is a lot of language, there’s a lot of technical pieces to training. I never wanted that. I wanted it to be easy and simple, where people could really enjoy it and understand it and transfer that information.

So when I moved back after BAEO and moved back to Texas, I’m not in the Dallas area, I’m in the Houston area, I, you know, started working with some of the larger charter operators, and in doing that, again, it’s all about training for me. People don’t . . . I don’t walk in a room saying, “Hey, this is a training session. It’s about . . .” But when people leave, they feel like, “Man, I got a lot of information.” Because, you know, you can’t tell people that work 40 and 60 and 80 hours a day (sic) you’re going to come, you know, to a training session about charter schools, but . . . And so we’ve really tried to make that fun.

But I created here the Advocacy Leadership Institute. And, you know, I have to give credit to our fearless CEO, Starlee Coleman because she just allowed that to happen as she was transitioning the association from a service organization to advocacy.

And the first cohort of . . . I started with teachers because I always felt like we train parents, you know, we talk to board members and school leaders. The people that we don’t spend any time with are teachers, “Oh, because they’re in the classroom and we don’t want them to . . . You know, we’ve got to keep them focused.” Well, but they go, they have vacations, they have, you know, Thanksgiving dinners. They are with their friends in the evening, and they don’t know how to respond to, “You’re stealing our kids.” They don’t know how to respond to . . . They don’t know how to . . .

And so, you know, that was my first thing, was just really helping teachers, first of all, “Why are you teaching in a charter school and not in the traditional ISD and all that good stuff?” Helping them find their “why,” you know, giving them information, answering their questions. And we have to date . . . We are graduating tonight, actually. We’ll have close to 150 teachers that have gone through this program that are not just, you know, they were in it for a year. They are still engaged. These are folks that are running for office and, you know, just doing just magnificent things.

And then in the Advocacy Leadership, of course, it’s parents. I get emotional talking about them because these guys just show up. And it’s different here. I have a very diverse group of parents. Now, you say grandmothers, and, yeah, we have that. Men, parents that are, you know, in the suburbs, in the rural cities. I have young people. You know, it’s just a lot of diverse folks, and they show up. They show up. They have their story. They are talking to other people. They are engaged, and they want more. And so I get excited about that because I know that, you know, not just for the association, not just for charter schools, but these are folks that if the street light needs changing or there’s a hole, you know, there’s something that’s outside of education that needs doing, these guys know how to go out and do it.

Kevin: Let me ask you this, Shree’, because, and this is what I really want to know. I have one last question, but it’s an important one. So many parents feel lost even today, post-pandemic. They may like their kids’ school. But, you know, statistics show that many school districts are facing lost kids, kids that have not come back to their school district. They’re looking at other options. It could be online, it could be a magnet school, it could be a charter school or private school, what have you. As we sit here, and knowing parents may be watching, what would you say to parents who feel a little bit adrift and they’re looking for the right fit for their child? What should they be looking for in trying to choose a school that works for their child?

Shree’: Man, that’s such a great question. That is such a great question. It’s one of the . . . You know, first of all, parents know their children better than anyone. You know, I remember my son, who’s now 32, but I remember him . . . I used to go into parent-teacher conferences the first part of the year, and I’d say, you know, “Brandon is a talker. He’s going to talk.” And they say, “Oh no, he’s so sweet. He’s so . . .” And, you know, that “so sweet” worked through the first conference and maybe the second conference. By that third conference, it was like, “Brandon is a talker.” “I told you.”

So one of the things that I’ve tried to help parents understand, when you’re looking for a school, you should first go by yourself. You know, you should go to visit a school, not with your child but by yourself. And the reason is because the way they treat you at that front desk, and I’m not talking about the administrator and the principal and the teacher that come, I’m talking about the front desk. The way they teach you from the very beginning is how they’re going to teach your child, because the culture starts at that door. And so you need to know. And that’s huge, because life will happen, and you need, when life happens, your child to be in a caring place.

Now, the second time, now when you meet with the school and you line up, you make sure that the questions you’re asking them, you know, about curriculum, about the things that you care about, the things that are important to you, that they are not offended by that, that they are answering your questions. Somebody that’s not answering your questions . . . I’ve been to a school, a parent was telling me that the school said, “Oh, we take care of that. Don’t worry about it. We’ll share that information later.” I don’t know that I would send my child there. I want somebody who’s upfront with me, who is in partnership with me.

And so, you know, one of the things that parents don’t always feel comfortable because, you know, school may not have been a good place for them, but I share with parents, “You’ve got to muscle up. You’ve got to go in there and you’ve got to say, ‘I’m your partner. I want to partner with you, and here are my expectations.'” You put them on the line. Schools have expectations. They want your child to come clean, ready, prepared, you know, for the day. What are your expectations, you know, for them?

So you need to have your expectations, and you need to know what you’re looking for. And it starts with “why.” Why this school? I talked to a lot of parents when I did work in Louisiana, and they’d say, “Oh, I wanted my child to go to this private school because I always wanted to go to this school.” But you don’t know what’s happening inside the school. It’s not like when they walk in the door . . . They didn’t know how to read before, you know, the Lord’s not going to touch their head, and all of a sudden they know how to read. So you have to know your “why,” so that when it happens, you know that it’s happening.

Kevin: What’s next for Shree’ Recasner in this work?

Shree’: Well, first of all, I am not done. Although, I do believe that what I’m doing definitely gives me so much joy, is working to build the Advocacy Leadership Institute. I’d like to see more advocacy leadership institutes. I think there’s opportunities there for that. I’m incorporating the alumni. So students of charter schools that have graduated from charter schools, we’re starting that program. That’s going to be a part of the Leadership Institute. And I would like to see, and I don’t know how to make this happen, because it’s not something working in an advocacy organization, you know, that we focus on. It’s just so much to do. But I would like to see more partnership or, you know, training partnerships with businesses and schools in communities, and we could start in the rural areas, around parent and teacher partnerships. Helping them know how to do that.

I realized when my daughter told us that she wanted to be a teacher, and I said, “Okay, well, when you come home for the summer, you’re going into a school.” Because, you know, I’m thinking, “She’ll go into a school, she’ll see how hard it is, you know, and she’ll stop.” She was, I mean, just . . . She couldn’t even get out of bed on Saturdays, but she loved it so much. So I said, “Okay, if you’re going to do this, you know, you’ve got to get in Teach For America,” and she did. She got in, and they sent her to Memphis. But no one, no organization is preparing teachers how to work with parents.

And listen, Kevin, you have to do it at the same time. You can’t just prepare teachers and do, like, a little film during development day about, you know, where they are. You’ve got to do it with parents too, and you’ve got to have a time when they come together and it’s not talking about their individual children or their . . . It’s like building a relationship. It’s like a partnership. You’ve got to bring them together. I don’t know what that looks like.

You asked me that question, but if you say what keeps you up at night, what makes you kind of think about the world in a different way, I think it’s that because we are raising, we are training, we’re educating, you know, the next generation. We’ve got to do better. We have got to do better. And we’ve got to stop the jobs and stop all the, you know, building, you know, arms of advocacy organizations and start building some partnerships in schools so that parents and teachers can see each other as partners, so that when Brandon comes to get in the car and says, “Well, my teacher said . . .” it’s like, “I got the email. I got the text. I already know what the teacher said. Now, why don’t you tell me what you did?” You know, so that’s what I would like to see.

Kevin: Oh, yeah. Well, and your work is not done. Shree’ Recasner, really enjoy catching up with you, and I know our audience will enjoy your words of wisdom. And thank you for joining us on “What I Want to Know.”

Shree’: All right. Well, thank you for having me, Kevin.

Kevin: Thanks for listening to “What I Want to Know.” Be sure to follow and subscribe to the show on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app, so you can explore other episodes and dive into our discussions on the future of education. And write a review of the show. I also encourage you to join the conversation and let me know what you want to know using #WIWTK on social media. That’s #WIWTK.

For more information on Stride and online education, visit stridelearning.com. I’m your host, Kevin P. Chavous. Thank you for joining “What I Want to Know.”